LAST BLOG: FINAL RELFLECTIONS

This is probably my last blog, but definitely not the last time you will have the opportunity to keep in touch with Soulforce, the Equality Ride, or to get involved in this important movement towards justice and LGBT equal rights. Below I’m going to share my final reflections and ways in which you can involve yourself in this work.

Lesson One: I came to a more complex understanding of prayer due to this ride. I vowed to pray for the physical safety of the bus every time I entered it, but somewhere around week two found myself forgetting to follow through with this goal. Every time I would remember that I had forgotten to pray, I would be reminded of the number of faith communities and individuals at home whom I knew to be praying for our safety, not to mention all the colleges we visited who informed us of their similar prayers. This comforted throughout the ride. However, the other conclusion I’ve come to about prayer is that too often it is used by Christians as an excuse for inaction. So many times we would visit schools where individuals would “pray” for us after they had been exposed to the violence, discrimination, and injustice that LGBT people face, but they wouldn’t “do” anything. I realized that I am often guilty of the same thing. In my frustration I have and will continue to turn towards scripture to inform me of what Jesus’ prayer life looked like. From first memory, I remember him praying for himself, “Father take this cup from me…” but in relation to his fellow community members he seldom prayed but ACTED. He did whatever he could possible to make other’s lives better on earth. I am taking this approach with my Father. As you may recall from one of my earliest blogs, my Dad has told me that I no longer have a home because of my involvement with the Equality Ride. Instead of solely praying that reconciliation will occur over time, I have committed to writing him letters, to pray through action. My fellow Equality Rider Jen Ham needs medical attention and thus money to heal her knee; instead of solely praying for healing I am attempting to find/raise this money for her MRI, praying through acting.

Lesson Two: I basically already knew this lesson but it was doubly affirmed through my experience on this ride. No one’s heart or mind is swayed by arguments or debate, but by the humanity and commonality they discover in those they consider their opponents.

Lesson Three: You need not be qualified to effect change. You need only to hear the call to do justice and respond. God qualifies those whom He calls. Moses and Rose Parks have solidified this lesson into concrete history.

Lesson Four: There is nothing inherit about time which affects or allows for change. I believe MLK talks about this fact somewhere, but I have learned this lesson from history. Slavery was abolished and yet 100 years flew by without time changing the society which Americans lived in concerning this issue. Time did not change reality, but people deciding to wait no longer, to stand up for God’s justice, changed reality. The same is true for LGBT issues. Time will not magically change the face of our nation around this issue, but everyday people, hearing the call to do justice and DOING something about it will.

THE FUTURE

Although our bus has been unwrapped and the 33 equality riders are now again home in the 19 states from which we came, the opportunity to “jump on the bus” still exists. Below are ways in which you can be a part of this historic movement.

1) This summer there will be sit-ins at 40 military recruitment centers across the nation, combating the government sanctioned discrimination of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” If you are an openly gay person who is willing to serve your country, sign up through www.soulforce.org. Or, if you are gay or straight and willing to sit-in and support an openly gay person attempting to register for the military, sign up as well!

2) Next year Equality Ride 2007 will take two busses across the nation, especially focusing on the deep south. Apply now, LGBT and Straight Allies needed!

3) Prepare for summer of 2007, a.k.a. “sit-in summer.” In cities across the nation LGBT couples will sit-in for marriage equality. Join the movement.

4) There is a new “activist house” forming in Oklahoma City. If you are looking for a move and a meaningful way to affect change, contact Pam Disel at pam@equalityride.com.

Thank you all for being a part of this journey with me. Your comments have been uplifting and I can’t tell you how many times I would arrive at a school and meet students, faculty, and administration who had already read my blog. Thank you for your support and love. May God’s Light and Love be with you.

kayla bonewell

WestPoint

Last stop. Quaint town. We walk in silence to the gate. No cadets. Tape covers our mouths. 21 riders and community members attempt to go on campus. Army police run out seemingly unprepared. They start taking people back to the vigil line. We in turn go back on campus. They get our point. We were arrested. We left.

At lunch 3 cadets snuck away from campus and found us. They were on lock-down. Every classroom for weeks had been talking about our visit and about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. They wanted us on campus. Professors wanted us on campus. We exchanged phone numbers. 11 cadets drive 1 ½ hours to meet us for dinner. We shared stories. One cadet asked us, “What’s it like to be “out?” I’ve never been “out.” Another story consisted of a friend who was straight but not your typical class A personality. His room was demolished, computer thrown against a wall, and a sign left on his door saying “No Fags.” Fear is violent.

Other stories consisted of individuals “coming out” to squads and companies; as a result all cadets around them policed others who used gay hate language. When the face of a known and respected colleague is put on the abstract issue of “faggots” and “homosexuality,” education and understanding replace ignorance and hatred. It was powerful to meet with these gay cadets and hear their appreciation for our support of them. I have a feeling Equality Ride 2007 will be visiting them again.

Eastern University

In the first “orientation” meeting at Eastern, President Black found himself a seat on the floor among other Equality Riders who did not have a seat in the several couches and chairs. From this first “down to earth” action, I could tell that Eastern was different than all the other schools. By noon in the cafeteria almost every student I passed had our “learn from history” button pinned on their shirt or backpack. I had extensive conversations with gay students and students who family members were gay. Very soon after we arrived “Repent America” had also been allowed on campus with a table and literature to protest our presence. I’m so glad Eastern welcomed them on because many students came up after speaking with them saying, “Well, I didn’t really know where I stood on the issue, but if they’re your opposition, I know I’m with you guys.”

The day closed with a beautiful sunset candlelight service; we sang and prayed together as a community. The golden setting sun disappeared over the campus lake, yet our burning candles held our combined “light of the world” against the darkness. It was a perfect close to our visits at Christian college campuses across the nation. The decision has been made to continue the ride next year; there will be two busses and students have already been itching to sign up. God’s movement of justice and Equality has continued through the dark night, praise be to God.

i need doctor contacts, prayers, or money.

my equaliy ride friend jen ham needs an MRI, or doctor contacts in the washington area. 3 weeks before the ride she woke up with a hurt knee and it has gotten worse every since. she's been to 8 doctors and they all say she needs an MRI but she doesn't have insurance. if you can help in ANY way, please let me know...she gets back to ellensburn washington on may 1st.

Front Cover of Advocate: May 9th

Wheaton

Indlela ibuzwa kwabaphambili. This is a Zulu saying which a Zulu couple wrote down for me at Bethel University. It goes along with our catch phrase, “Learn from History; End Religion-based Oppression.” The Zulu saying means, “Learn from those who have gone before.” Today on the bus one of the riders gave me a small booklet about Peace Pilgrim and her steps toward inner peace she discovered while walking over 25,000 miles spreading her message of peace. Several things she said have changed the way I think about our interactions at Wheaton, I wish to learn from her who has gone before me. She says, “It is said that hate injures the hater, not the hated.” “You cannot leave a situation without spiritual injury unless you leave it lovingly.” And most importantly, “There is a magic formula for resolving conflicts. It is this: Have as your objective the resolving of the conflict, not the gaining of advantage. There is a magic formula for avoiding conflicts. It is this: Be concerned that you do not offend, not that you are not offended.” www.peacepilgrim.org.

All of my interactions with Wheaton students were encouraging. We had been warned that Wheaton was the Harvard of Evangelical Conservative Christian Universities. We had been warned that students were so academically and biblically astute that they would not be concerned with the stories of our lives but with the level of our biblical exegesis. To be honest, I was afraid and intimidated before ever stepping foot on campus. I reminded myself and fellow riders before exiting the bus that we were only here for reasons of love; love and only love was and should be moving us. From my first to my last conversation with students, the warnings I had received were proved wrong; students were caring, students listened, and students wanted to love.

My frustrations developed solely in communication with administration and faculty. One professor who invited us to his class did so only in order to rebuff and discredit everything we said immediately after our presentation. He explicitly asked us not to mention anything about our personal lives, only presenting academic information. True, this is an academic institution, but the only reason we come is because these academic and religious institutions are detrimentally and unjustly causing irreparable damage to the lives of gay and straight children of God.

I was visibly flustered and to the point of giving up completely after conversing with Wheaton’s president over lunch. His life experience as a pastor counseling gay people has only brought him in contact with drug using, promiscuous, disease ridden, broken individuals. Understandably, this is his idea of what all gay people are like. He did not seem to understand that this reality is a sad product of the environment which their policy creates. When I told him that as an individual in the Christian Gay Community, all we ask is for the privileges that straights receive concerning relationships: straights’ relationships are valued, acknowledged, celebrated, and the Christian community holds its members accountable to the commitments they have made before God and the community. Gay relationships are ignored, thought of as “not real relationships,” our partners are often labeled as our “friend” or “roommate,” and we do not receive the accountability to stay committed, monogamous, and faithful as do our straight counterparts by our Christian communities of faith. I believe this is the main cause for promiscuity and premarital intimacy before marriage or union within the gay community; if no one else is watching or caring about our relationships, it’s that much harder for us to do so as well.

As well I more fully and finally understood the main difference between us; he said his and his schools’ faith begins with, ends with, and is sustained by and through the Bible. In a public forum the night before I asked the Wheaton panel, “The first Christians did not have the written New Testament on which to base their faith. Jesus promised that God would send the Holy Spirit after his death in order to further instruct the disciples. Are you not open to new truth from the Holy Spirit which is not biblically based?” The Provost Stan Jones’ response was as follows, “It is not in the nature of God to reveal anything contrary to scripture through the Holy Spirit.” I wonder then how we finally came to believe that the earth is round and not flat, that slavery and segregation are immoral, and that women are called by God to speak and teach in church if the Holy Spirit did not reveal new truth that is contrary to scripture. My faith begins with, ends with, and is sustained by my personal relationship with Christ, God, and the people of God. The bible informs, supports, and uplifts my faith, but is not the ground from which it rises and returns to. With such different starting points, I wonder how Wheaton’s president and myself may ever come to common ground or understanding.

After the visit I left upset, disheartened, and with a feeling of helplessness. To learn from Pilgrim Progress, I must not begin to hate or else I will be injured. I must not leave the situation unlovingly or else I will be the cause of spiritual injury. I have a ways to go to resolve this conflict, but must be careful to do so without offending. I guess that’s the reason that May 1^st is not the end of this bus ride, but the beginning of a movement. Mel White reminds us that ”Religious leaders often protect and preserve the status quo while God raises up in every generation a handful of courageous prophets to confront the church and keep the truth alive.” I look forward to meeting these new prophets that will rise up to sustain and spread this movement of God’s justice and love.

Bethel University

I thoroughly enjoyed our Bethel stop. The campus was gorgeous, sprinkled with wooden bridges, lakes with docks, and beautiful landscaping. At several points in the day I took some “time-outs” to enjoy a bench by the water; nature has been one of the many things we’ve lacked access to while living between a bus and hotel room for 2 months. I had the privilege of speaking with seminary students at a brunch for the 1^st hour of our time together; as students with similar studies we compared the procedures and processes which our universities offer and also discussed the similarities of being in ministry with a spouse or partner who career calling is not in ministry and the pro’s which that partnership brings.

After a lovely catered lunch, Alisa Streets and I spoke with Katherine Nevin’s “Principles of Counseling” class; we shared our stories and the questions from students were very honest and heartfelt. Afterwards I spoke with students at our literature table until I snuck away to a deserted hallway and pulled up 2 cushioned benches in order to take a much needed hour long nap. I guess I hadn’t realized this trip would involve back-to-back 14 hour work days which entail repeatedly exposing the details and timeline of your life to hundreds of strangers all the while attempting to defend your human worth and dignity; I think we all would benefit from daily naps but I gladly settled for this first and only treasured instance of stolen sleep.

After an amazing dinner in the dining hall where pad thai was an offered entrée, perhaps over a thousand students gathered in Benson Great Hall for a forum where 3 riders, including myself, presented our thoughts and beliefs about the bible, academic freedom, and the treatment of GLBT people. 3 speakers from Bethel spoke as well and afterwards the forum was opened to Q and A from students. It was a respectful event which I feel brought a lot of knowledge and new ideas and facts to Bethel students.

North Central University

Despite my fellow rider’s experience at North Central, I had a wonderful day full of sunshine and meaningful hour-long conversations. We arrived at the site of rider David Coleman’s former school who kicked him out for being gay. We set up tables and signs which pointed students to different stations such as “Bible Discussion,” or “Ask Me Any Question.” North Central is different than all the other schools we’ve visited because they don’t actually have a campus; all their property consists of buildings, not grass or sidewalks. They exist in the middle of downtown among shops and hospitals and parks. Unfortunately students had had so much fear placed on them about us from their administration that for the most part they stayed deep within their dorm rooms and classroom buildings and only looked at us timidly through their windows; every time I would catch someone’s eye I would wave and they would look embarrassed for staring and wave back. I even witnessed a pizza delivery take place through a 1^st floor screen window which had been removed in order to make the transaction.

Eventually riders began a sit-in, sitting in front of doors to class-room buildings, requesting opportunity to dialogue with students. They were not allowed access and in a few cases were intentionally hit with cameras from angry media camera men, “accidentally” stepped on or “accidentally” kicked. Unbeknownst to me, all of this was occurring as I stayed present at the “Bible Discussion” table and had the privilege of speaking with about 5 students over the course of the day. We had also bought over 300 sodas and water to give to students, but because they were scared to meet us much of it was left. I began giving away 6-packs to those few who walked by; they gratefully received the soda and kept coming back for more.

We held a rally that night in a nearby park which was the most widely attended rally we’ve had yet. So many community support showed up and as well Captain Sulu, gay Star Trek icon. All in all it was an important day which concluded for me with being able to have dinner with my 21 yr. old niece whom I hadn’t seen for over 1 ½ since she moved to Minneapolis.

Colorado Christian University and United States Air Force Academy

I’ve got a whole new respect for professional teachers and professors. CCU was gracious enough to provide us with a schedule which included 9 classroom presentations. I ended up presenting for 300 min. in one day to classes with 30-60+ students. We arrived at 8am and were greeting by a line of handshakes and smiles; each rider was paired with two hosts, one student and one staff member. During a breakfast provided by the school, we spoke with administration about those things which we agree upon and those things which we do not. The president addressed the elephants in the room: the fact that CCU had initially been very unhappy about our announced visit and yet over time they had come to the understanding that Christ would welcome visitors and did listen to what people had to say. The other elephant was that we were present because we felt that CCU’s policy was one of the worst and most discriminatory out of all the schools we’d visited.

At 9:25am I began with 3 other riders to teach a new testament class; afterwards the professor immediately e-mailed me letting me know that we did a GREAT JOB and that students asked him if he agreed with everything we had said; he told them he’d been with his wife for over 41 years because they had not agreed on everything. A student told him that she had completely changed her viewpoints about homosexuals and he hugged her. I felt bad for my hosts who had to sit through 300 min. of repeat presentations without much time for us to get to know each other. We did attend a praise and worship chapel which was filled with wonderful music. The day felt VERY productive, yet the most exhausting one so far.

The next morning we held a press conference at the North Gate of the United States Air Force base. Many community members attended and we clothed them in blue “end religious-based oppression” tee-shirts. Together we drove to the chapel on base and 10 people stood in a vigil line with tape over their mouths representing the 10,000 people whose voices have been silenced by their discharge since the 1993 inception of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” DADT is a government sanctioned discrimination and is based on the untruth that neither society nor soldiers are ready to see openly gay people in the military. A Gallup poll in 2003 showed that 79% of Americans were in support of gay/lesbian/bisexual people in the military. One of the riders held an oversized poster board check made out to the U.S Department of Defense for 364 million dollars which is the amount of money tax payers have spent to replace the 10,000 gay discharges since 1993, which includes 60 Arabic/Farsi translators and 300 medics which would be very helpful in Iraq right now.

Katie Higgins, equality rider, spoke, “Who wants to sign this check? I don’t want to sign this check, do you? My father and grandfather served in the military and this money had been used to insure that I cannot follow in their footsteps and serve my own country. Do you, Commandant, wish to sign this check? Or perhaps Pres. Bush would like to sign it? Are there any cadets here who would like to sign it? Why are you walking away from me, is it because you do not want to sign this check?” She was arrested along with 10 other riders and community members for attempting to speak out about the myths and facts concerning gays in the military.

The rest of us stayed and spoke with cadets all day; some even paid for our lunch. Everyone that I talked to either held the view that DADT is a ridiculous policy, especially since we are the only country besides Turkey in all of NATO to not allow openly gay people in the military, or else others were open to discussion with us about the issue. The USAF flat-out lied to all media, saying that we had broken agreements with them not to make speeches or pass out literature, which we had never agreed to. They also denied that anyone was arrested, saying our group had only been detained; however when you’re handcuffed, processed, charged with a fine of disorderly conduct, and given a court date I don’t know how you don’t call that being arrested.